Is the fear of divorce ruining your life?

Have you experienced that dark feeling in your stomach with your divorce? I call it the fear of divorce.

Fear is a nasty four-letter word that wreaks havoc in the hearts of many women going through divorce or separation. It comes with questions like: Will I have enough money to live on my own? Will I be able to keep the house? Will my children be okay? Will I ever be in another relationship? Will I ever stop loving my ex? Will the pain ever go away? Will I be able to handle all the daily responsibilities on my own? Will I have enough money for retirement? Will I ever be happy living alone? Will I be attracted to the same type of man who hurt me again?

It’s no secret that the process of separating from a partner and starting a new life can be intimidating. The fear of the unknown can create an endless list of worries, doubts that can erode your confidence and clarity about moving forward.

But the good news is that there are ways to overcome the fear of divorce and approach this challenging time with strength, resilience, and hope. I call them the “Divorce Fear Busters.”

One of the most effective ways to combat the fear of divorce is by gathering accurate information about the divorce process, your financial situation, and your legal rights and responsibilities. This can help you feel more in control and less burdened by the unknown.

Financial fears are a common concern during divorce, and not knowing where you stand can be a significant source of anxiety. However, by collecting critical financial documents and information, such as tax returns, bank statements, and more, you can gain a clear picture of your financial situation and take steps to protect your financial future. You can do this on your own or work with a divorce coach or certified divorce financial analyst to help you understand where you stand.

Taking action is another powerful remedy for the fear of divorce. This can mean finding a support group, reading books, or listening to podcasts about divorce to learn more about the process and how to navigate it successfully. It can also be unrelated activities like art, decluttering, or taking walks. Helping others can also be a potent way to combat the fear of divorce, as it can give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment and remind you that you are not alone.

Believing in something greater than yourself can provide comfort and hope in challenging times. This may involve turning to religious beliefs or a sense of purpose that gives you strength and resilience. It doesn’t just mean sitting back and waiting for good things to happen but rather having faith in a plan or force or anything you believe in and putting in the work and effort in that process. For example, if you’re afraid of not finding a loving relationship, putting in the work could involve self-growth, becoming someone people want to be in a relationship with, or building a fulfilling life on your own.

Peace of mind

Finally, finding ways to nurture your peace of mind can help you manage anxiety and reduce the impact of the fear of divorce on your life. This may involve self-care practices like yoga, tapping, journaling, practicing gratitude, or spending time in nature. Being by the ocean or in the mountains or wherever your special place is can also be incredibly soothing. Even if you physically can’t be there, visualizing yourself being there can be very calming and relaxing.

These practices can help recharge your batteries, find relaxation and peace, and give you the energy you need to face life’s challenges.

The fear of divorce is a natural and understandable response to a difficult and challenging life transition. It comes with one of the most painful and stressful moments in your life. Don’t sit in this fear as it can have detrimental effects on your emotions and health. However, there are powerful antidotes to this fear, including gathering accurate information, taking action, believing in something greater than yourself, and nurturing your peace of mind.

By using these tools, you can approach divorce with confidence, strength, and resilience, and create a new life that is fulfilling, joyful, and abundant.